oh yeah, let me continue.....
fad dun wanna tell me anything first n ask to wait till the next morn. i pestered her to tell n she told me dat my boss called her out for meeting..
i asked her is it about me.. she said yeah n continued relaying what my boss told her. i was so sad after i heard n i thought whatever it is, i've to speak to him.. don't know what he was doing at that time..
called his mobile n ask him to come down to the food court to have a talk..
i brought along fad and siti. we 3 r like the faces of triangle.. all have a sharp end n waiting to burst out.. we r the senior staffs who are working in there for more than 5 yrs.. isn't this a long period to work in a company??

boss came and we started talking
felt so pai seh to see him as i was the one who made him feel that way
because of my stupid MAYBE, all these r happening
n he has to undergo tremedous stress
if i could have wiped this situation by other means, i would have done that
seeing his sad look, i was close to tears. thank god it rolled out only once...

we talked n talked for an hour or so n he was like saying 'please stay' once a while n give me a look that's of like a child yearning for love. he talked about all things he can do for me.

frankly speaking, i am not just looking at the monetary value for my stay. i want him to achieve more n get the company to grow as it has lots of potential. i wanna be proud to tell my kids in future that i was working in this company n c how it has grown with the work of one n only man. since i am his sec, we confide with each other at times of our probs. i am sure he knows more about me n my mood swings than others.

he has put me in a dilemma.

first, i have to consider the prob he's going through with his family members for the running of the biz,
- n if i were to stay, i still have to interact with those who are acting their roles well at office( these r the creeps i can't stand n would luv 2 get rid)
- as i have already told my colleagues that my last day is on fri, how am i going to tell that i am not going anywhere as per the request of my boss,,, i am sure they r gonna laugh
- how about if i'd died?? someone would surely be taking over my job.. if he can think that rifaya is no longer around, i am sure no prob would have come..

n when my boss asked, if u have so much concerns about me, y r u leaving?? that's when i really wondered if i can leave him. i neither want anything to happen to him nor get some fools to ride over his head for the funds he is providing. so should i go or not...

he told me not to worry about others n yeah is this what he meant???

be who u r n say wat u feel,
becoz those who mind don't matter
n those who matter don't mind